Friday, June 21, 2013

Quick Takes (Vol 10)

This week I talked about how I am trying to not let being bad at something discourage me from trying. Not letting what is hard for me kind of rule my life and what I attempt. I'm seriously taking this to heart with as many aspects of my life as I can. I'm working hard when I workout with the Insanity video; I'm doing dishes and sweeping multiple times; I'm keeping SpongeBob off (I didn't mention that in my post, but when it's hot outside and we can't go outside it has been so hard not to succumb to movie watching) as much as I can. I feel like this is really positive and I'm pretty proud of myself.

Speaking of being hot outside, this is what our week was like:

Speaking with my friend Krista today we were discussing some homeschooling information (she's pretty much my hero with regards to homeschooling, and cooking; I'm planning on moving to Canada and moving in next door to her. Look out Krista!!), and she gave me this great link to Charlotte Mason info and I bought a new book! (Krista, Jason might be contacting you regarding your influence ;-)) I am really excited to get into it and get the book, because this is the kind of learning that I want to do with the boys.

We had Christopher's early intervention meeting this week. We met with the Speech therapist and the developmental...I don't know what her title is but she's the one that will come in most of the time to work with us. We will start with 2 times a week and then that may go down once the school year starts again, depending on how he's doing and their schedule. I was a little put off by the speech therapist because she seemed to be judging some of our parenting choices like homeschooling (apparently early intervention cuts off at 3yo if your child is not enrolled in school) and the fact that we don't do playgroups. I did speak to a friend of mine who works with this therapist and she told me that the therapist is just really blunt and she comes off sounding harsh often, but to not take it personally. Anyway, we still haven't gotten a good hearing test and the early intervention test people are telling us our next option is for him to be sedated, which I'm really not feeling. So I called the ENT that did his tubes and asked them, the MA suggested we get him in to be seen since his right tube has already fallen out. It might all be related to fluid in the ears, so wish me luck with regards to that, I'm sure he'll love being held down so they can check his ears.

I'll be working every Sunday for a semi-local (40 miles away) nursing home starting next week on top of the helping out I do in KS and I'm excited. I enjoy working in KS but sometimes that 2 hour trip is a lot. But, I will still be able to help them out at least one day a week, so that's good. I enjoy working, but when I come home exhausted and hug the boys, I have serious doubts that I could do it every day. I mean, I could if I had to, or if it was the best choice for our family, but I probably wouldn't want to. :)

Also when talking to Krista, we discussed some good books for the kids and she made this suggestion. I probably would have been unconvinced that the boys would like something like this because it does not contain what you would consider typically kid images; but, the boys' favorite Mass book, which they fight over, is very similar in art. You should totally click on that link and take a look inside...the pictures are beautiful!

I'm still trying to come up with a good idea for a vacation. The boys are too young to get much enjoyment out of something like Disneyland so I think that's off the list for a few years; and I'm trying to come up with something that won't cost an arm and a leg. I'm also trying to talk Jason into a road trip! Suggestions welcomed and appreciated!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just a Moment-A Decision

This morning when 5 AM rolled around I couldn't  do it; I couldn't make myself get out of bed. I was sore, and so tired, and it felt good curled up in bed. I told Jason I couldn't do it and please could we work out tonight. He said yes because he is awesome.

Later, when I'd pulled myself up out of bed and had showered I noticed it. That twinge of pain in my left knee when I sat just wrong. Or when I climbed off the bed the dull ache in both knees. My immediate first thought was "I guess I am done with Insanity again."

As I contemplated what that meant (would I go back to just walking, 10 minute trainer again, or something else), it struck me that this is how I got here. And this epitomizes my behavior in nearly everything. When I struggle to do well I don't want to continue.

Math and science were hard for me in school but instead of studying harder I just told myself that I wasn't a math person and that's okay. When I realize working out is hard for me I've resigned myself to always being the chunky girl. When I can't manage to keep the house picked up, I convince myself that the housekeeping gene just missed me. When waking up to say prayers and go to Mass was hard on me I resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't a morning person and that's okay.

And it's not okay. The truth is, when I wake in the early morning it is hard and I want to just roll over and go back to sleep but I always, always feel better after a workout and prayers. Why can't I tell myself that and get up to do it anyway? Human nature? Well it's MY human nature and I'm going to fight it. My knee pain is nothing that I wouldn't tell a patient to push through. It can only stop me if I keep letting my fear of struggling hold me back. I know I have far to go, and that IS okay because the journey won't be boring. :)

P.S. This does not mean I will suddenly have a spotless house or that I will all of a sudden be a math whiz...1 journey at a time folks!

Wordless Wednesday-Donut Edition

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Who Would Have Guessed?

I missed doing Insanity! Like, really missed it. I felt like my walks were good, but I knew that once it gets even hotter, I might not be able to keep it up. And 10 minute trainer really didn't leave me feeling like I'd worked out. So, I asked Jason if he would start doing Insanity with me again. We started yesterday morning. And boy am I sooooore!!!

My knees never bothered me throughout the first section of Insanity, not until we started the real maximum intensity. So, I'm holding out hope that my knees stay pain free this time. To help ensure that, I am not doing any jumping and pretty much nothing with both feet off the floor at the same time. Jason's making sure to watch my technique while I do lunges or squats so I don't hurt myself that way.

I'm still going to try to do some walking in the morning because it really helps my knees (I think? I know I feel good after walks), but that's going to have to wait until my body is used to the punishment that is Insanity again.

I'm still struggling at about the same weight that I was in the beginning. Still fluctuating from 274-276 for some reason. I feel like all this work is going to build up, that at some point this weight is going to melt off. Well, I hope that's the case anyway. I have noticed some really awesome things that aren't directly related to the scale though. I was able to stand up out of the chair at daily Mass while holding Christopher without using my hands at all. This may seem silly, and lame, but it was incredibly hard for me to do this before and now I can so I'm definitely getting stronger! The other thing is a little more embarrassing, but hey, I've already put my numbers out there so this can't be that bad right? Because I'm so overweight my inner thighs rub together; because I always wear skirts this is a daily problem for me. Lately, while there is still some rubbing, it is not that bad. There's never pain anymore and where in the past if we walked a couple miles I'd have sores on my legs (TMI?! Sorry!) but that hasn't happened in months! This is huge! This is probably the biggest thing that hurts my self-esteem. It's so demoralizing to know that I can't even walk without my weight getting in the way; but this progress, this gives me hope.

So that's my update this week. Sorry if you're not interested, I'm just trying to get it all out there because I know that a lot of people struggle in the same ways and to varying degrees. I have a post planned later this week for talks about overeating and do we know if our weight is sinful?

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Theme Thursday - Dads

I'm linking up with the Clan again because Cari is so awesome and I love her link-ups...except for when I can't relate because I don't have any girls in the house besides myself and I already played along with the self-portrait one. ;-)

So this week's theme is dads. While I have a great connection with both my step-dad and my dad, I'm not including them here because a) I don't actually have their permission to put their likeness on my blog and because b) the most important dad in my life right now is the dad to my boys.

Jason is such a good daddy; he walks in the door and immediately is looking for his boys to play with and hug and just be with. He handles everything with them as well as...well let's be real here...better than I do. Aside from breastfeeding anyway.

The one he's wearing isn't even our baby lol, we were watching a friend's little girl

Well, um, that was picture heavy. Ah well...they're cute boys so it's OK right?! Go see Cari and check out more dads!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Porch Playing Time

So our boys handle the heat as well as their momma, which is to say: they don't. They get hot easily, their faces turn red, they get lethargic and Christopher has even gotten heat rash a few times. The bad thing is that we are already in triple digits and our boys love being outside. What's a momma to do?

Last year my father-in-law screened in our porch and put misters in to help keep it cool.
We also had a water table that was a huge hit. This year however, the boys seem determined to climb in it. I know what you're thinking: put out a kiddie pool duh. The problem with that is my laziness. It is dry & windy here. Even on our screened in porch the water in our water table would get so nasty that I usually changed it daily. So obviously I was not interested in doing that with a huge pool.

My solution? I stole the idea from Kayla (who is both hilarious and creative!) with her sandbox that you can cover & put away. A couple storage containers with water. I'm not original or anything... but Dominic seems happy!

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Waiting for Weightloss--An Update

Well, it's been about two weeks since my last post about my weight loss and I wanted to post an update. I'm still not having much in terms of pounds coming off, and I'm trying not to let that discourage me. I also had a bit of a setback last week.

I've been doing 10 minute trainer by Beachbody, and I've really enjoyed it. Each video is only 10 minutes long, and if you have the time you can add one or two more for the day. It's low impact exercise that really works the whole body. However, there is a lot of squatting and lunging. I'm assuming because of my weight, this is really hard on my knees. My knee pain increased so much that I could barely walk down the stairs. I took a few days off and tried to re-evaluate what I was doing.

I don't want to seriously injure myself, but at the same time I don't want this to discourage me or stop my progress. So I knew that I needed to find something that I can do without serious injury but that was going to help me get healthy.

I decided on walking. Not just a stroll in the park kind of walking. Serious, heart rate increasing walking. I did my first walk yesterday; well actually, several walks. We walked to Mass in the morning and then back home. Had a nice breakfast and then the boys and I walked to the park, played for a couple hours and then walked home. All in all it was just over 4 miles. I wore my heart rate monitor so I know that I was working hard and "in the zone". I burned over 500 calories while I was walking yesterday, and that is more than I ever burned in any of my Insanity workouts and more than my 10 minute trainer workouts.

I feel good, I feel like I worked hard but my knees don't hurt (my feet do a little, it's been a while since I walked that much in one day ;-)), and I feel...good. About myself, about doing something, and still getting to spend that time with my boys. After chatting with a friend on Twitter (thanks Jen!), I think I'm going to do my walks every other day. Hopefully this will help keep me injury free. 4+ miles every other day. Maybe someday I will be able to run?! I hope so!

Between our walks. Happy boys in the sunshiney sun. :)